Saturday, June 5, 2010

How To Be A Girl (Part 2)

Hello and welcome to part 2 of How to Be a Girl. Where I teach you the basics of becoming a girl.

Now that you know what your essentials and how to look like a girl, I'm going to tell you how to act like one.

First, how to talk like a Girly Girl:

1. Talk in the usual manner that you would, but make it faster.
2. Squeeze your voice until it sounds like a baby. But an irritating one.
3. Use the words/phrases "like", "I know right?", "OMG", "totally", whenever you talk to another person.
Here's an example conversation of Girly Girls:
"OMG! I haven't seen you, in like ages!"
"Yeah, totally! How are you? OMG that dress looks like super duper cute on you!"
"I know right? I just bought it for like, 10 bucks!"
"OMG! Really? Hey have you like, seen *insert name of someone*? She's like totally fat!"
"Yeah. I know right? Ewww!"
4. Also, another great way to talk like a Girly Girl is to squeal. Squeal whenever you have the chance to. Squeal when you're happy, when you're sad, when you're angry, when you've seen a really handsome guy, or you could just squeal whenever you feel like doing it.

Second, how to walk like a Girly Girl:

1. Walk in the normal way you would, but this time, add a really, really tiny hop to each step.
2. Sway your hips like what a model would do on the runway.
3. AND DON'T FORGET to have good posture. It's really the key to walking like a Girly Girl.
4. Be perky.

Third, how to eat like a Girly Girl:

1. Do not order so much food. All that fat could just ruin your look.
2. Avoid greasy food. It might ruin your make up. And we don't want that, do we?
3. When you're about to take in the food, make sure that the spoon/fork has only a small amount of food.
4. Chew gently and swallow.
5. Get a sip from your drink.
6. Pat your mouth with a napkin even though there's no food residue on your lips.

Make sure that you master the art of becoming a girl. And if you're really good at it, then CONGRATULATIONS!


Despite the fact that you need a lot of things to consider when you are trying to become a girl, it can actually be very simple. You're simply just being a guy with some minor differences.
1. You require more grooming.
2. You have breasts for pecs.
3. You are more sensitive.
4. You have a vjayjay for a penis.
5. You will bleed from your vjayjay for about 5 days in a month.

Watch out for my next blog. And for those Girly Girls who are offended by this blog entry, I only have one thing to say. Shut up, and be a sport.




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