Saturday, June 5, 2010


What is denial? Why do we do it?

I've noticed that these past few days, everyone is affected by denial in one way or another.

According to Sigmund Freud, denial is a defense mechanism people use when they are confronted with facts that they are not comfortable to accept. Thus, they shun the idea and tell that it is not true despite the evidences. There are 3 different levels of denial, or so wikipedia says.

Simple denial - Denying the reality or the existence of the fact.
Minimisation - Person admits the fact but disregards its seriousness.
Projection - Person admits the fact and seriousness but ignores the responsibility.

Personally, I usually use simple denial and minimisation. I've used denial a lot. It's not serious though, but it does save me from the emarrassment. Like when I was in third grade, I needed to go to the CR badly. But every restroom in the building was locked for God knows what reason. And so I ended making a puddle of piss in the hallway. After a few minutes, someone shouted, "IS THIS JUICE? OH MY GOSH NO, IT'S WEE-WEE!" Everyone thought it was me, but I denied it. I said that I'm not much of an ass to do that thing. And good thing they bought it.

I've never really used denial in such a serious matter, because I knew and accepted for a fact that it would just make matters worse. But I do have to admit that I got tempted to deny and ignore some problems. A lot. But I managed to face them even though I knew it would cost me a lot.

Denial is not only used by people in matters concerning responsibilities, sickness, death, habits, or denial itself. Denial is widely use in the matters of the heart. I know a lot of people who used denial thinking that it would make everything better, but ended up screwing everything.

This friend of mine likes this girl. Apparently, the girl also likes him. But because he fears of what people might say because the girl was a senior and he was a sophomore, he shoved the girl right out of his life. He thought that both of them would be better off without each other. Obviously, he was wrong. He ended up stalking the girl (not in a creepy way) who had already moved on with another guy. After a year, he finally was over the girl, but he could have saved himself from all the misery if he hadn't denied his love for the girl.

A relative of mine had a guy bestfriend. Clearly, they both love each other as more than friends but the guy was such a coward because he was afraid that they would lose their friendship. So he denied the my relative and gained distance. My relative on the other hand was really inlove with him, but decided to not expect of anything because she knows that the guy she loves is such a coward. Up to now they're still bestfriends but the guy is still much of an ass to accept the fact that he really loves her.


Besides the fact the I realized that I grew up with a lot of lovesick people, denial is just a way of showing how immature a person can be. People deny because they're afraid of rejection or humiliation, or they're afraid of being truly happy. Either way, people in denial are simply just scared of something.

Are you in denial right now?




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