Sunday, June 27, 2010

Blink Twice For Yes.

I don't have anything to say. So I'll just post a link.



This dude's got amazing talent. Watch, rate and subscribe.
blinktwice4y.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

What would little Horm do?

Pre-school. I could never forget the first two years of my life in school. Although, I was at the top of my class, I still thought of stupid things.

On the first day of classes, I was so scared so I planned to get out of the school. And my awesome plan, was to run through the gate as fast as I could. It never occurred to me that there was a guard and I wasn't exactly as fast as roadrunner. So when I "sprinted" toward the gate, the guard quickly stopped me.

After that incident, I felt alone. And unfortunately, I cried. Yes, I cried. And then, a woman approached me, and said, "Stop crying, you're gonna have fun in here. By the way I'm going to be you're teacher! Yay!". I felt at ease with her, so I stopped crying.


After I stopped crying, I felt like the bad-ass of the school. I was walking like someone who just won the UFC. I passed by the other kids crying while saying to myself "Hah, crybabies." It's like I never cried moments ago.

 0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

When I was younger, I thought about crazy stuff that's kinda embarrassing. Here's a few of them.
The tree isn't a living thing.

A blue planet where all the people live in there ate candies and cakes existed.

I believed that I went to another country when I was a baby, when I didn't.

I thought that I always had a cameraman following me everywhere, like the ones in reality shows.

You make babies by simply being naked.
So... Yeah.

MY HORMONES ARE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAING.

The number 2

The number 2.

It's such a magical number. But what does the number 2 mean?

The number 2. Comes after 1, and before 3.

The number 2. Lowest card in poker.

The number 2. Highest card in big two poker.

The number 2. The only even prime number.

The number 2. The thing people call you when you're a mistress.

The number 2. Probably the most important meaning for the number 2, to take a dump.


I have nothing else to say.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

What the deuce?

What would it take to put some sense in to a sorry-ass creature's head?
What would it take to put some sense in to an insensitive jerk?

The answer is nothing. Unless you kidnap the person then beat the hell out of him. But that seems to change nothing at all.
Maybe if you expose that douche bag to a near-death experience, then that would do the trick. But there's only one way to find out. I would gladly do it to prove the point. Unfortunately, that would just send me to prison.


Honestly, there is no sure-fire way to bring some sense in to some low-life. No matter what you do, say, or feel, it's not gonna work. He's born with it. It's in his DNA. The best thing you could do is to let him be and ignore it.

And if you're someone, who apparently "loves" a said stupid person, then good luck to you my friend. You're probably one of his kind or you think you're smart enough to change his ways. Whichever you are, you will probably end up in the psychiatric ward.

Unless you're lucky and for some miracle, you've changed him. Then, congratulations to you, my friend. But if you're not lucky, then you might as well move on to someone with better genes.

CONCLUSION:

There are many stupid jerks in the world. No matter how perfect the person is disregarding the narrow-mindedness, he still is. The best thing you could do is to let him be and move on, no matter how hard it is.

Do you get my point?


MY HORMONES ARE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGING.

Monday, June 7, 2010

SURPRISE! How the surprise birthday party all began.

Just yesterday, my friend and I were watching a show on the tv. While it the commercials were rolling, we saw an ad where the person got a surprise birthday party but secretly hated the idea. After the ad, my friend blurted out,

"When will I ever get a surprise birthday party?"
I didn't reply, because I thought that was such a silly question. Then, she said,
"Sh*t, I really need a boyfriend!"
Then I replied sarcastically, "Wow. How profound."


So today's post is all about surprise birthday parties.

I like celebrating my birthday. But personally, I hate surprise parties. It makes me feel so awkward when everyone looks and smiles at you and sings Happy Birthday while you're there looking utterly clueless.

But how did surprise birthday parties began?

Well, it all started like this.

Once every year one particular boy would celebrate his birthday with his friends and family. They would always gather and have a feast when his birthday would come. He would be filled with joy as everyone offered him gifts.

After several birthday celebrations, he grew tired of the old tradition of celebrating his birthday. Yes, he was grateful for the merriment he experiences during his birthday, but he yearned for something more. He wanted to feel truly happy when celebrating his special day. His family and dearest friends noticed his weariness, so they decided to plan something new for the boy.

"Dude, what's wrong with him? His birthday's just around the corner, and he looks like crap!"
"I dunno dawg. Maybe he's gettin' tired of celebrating his birthday." Said one of his buddies.
"I don't get it. He likes it when we give him all the attention and the gifts." Said the other clueless friend.
"Maybe he's used to it. Maybe he's tired of anticipating everything."
"Oh crap man, with the time we got, we ain't going to be able to do something different."
"Don't worry dawg, I got something." Said the smarter friend with a smug.
"What're you up to now?"
"Well, we're still goin' to do the same thing every time his birthday is up. The only thing is, it's gonna be a surprise."
"But how we gonna keep him from knowing it?"
"Simple, dude. We gonna make him feel that we ain't got any plans to celebrate his birthday. Then on the day itself one of us is gonna lead him to the venue of the party then we all gon' shout SURPRISE DAWG!"
"Wow dude, you a smart-ass!"

And everyone was impressed by the gentleman's idea. And so they secretly prepared everything for the boy's grand celebration. Everyone knew except for the boy himself. He felt more weary for he knew something was up but he could not figure out what it was. So he said to himself

"I feel like total sh*t. It seems like no one from my homies are makin' an effort to do somethin' for my birthday."

And then the day everyone has anticipated arrived. However, the boy was still gloomy for he had no idea of what he will encounter. Then, as planned, one of his friends led him to a dark room.

"Yo dawg, it's dark in here. Please don't rape me." The boy was suspicious.
"What the f*** man?! I ain't no gay! Just open the freaking lights!"

And when the fluorescence was switched on, everyone seemed to appear out of nowhere. Everyone said in unison "SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAWG!". The boy was of course, very happy that no one forgot that it was his special day. And so the night went on with everyone shouting joyous banters and the boy feeling blessed with his birthday celebration.

And that was the origin of the surprise birthday party.

The end.

CONCLUSION:

Besides the fact that the story you've just read is a total fake, surprise birthdays are meant to be fun. But before you organize one, make sure that the celebrant will really appreciate what you're doing. You want him/her to feel surprised and happy. Not humiliated and awkward.


MY HORMONES ARE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGING.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

WOOOHOOOO!

HORMONES ARE RAGING. OH YEAH.

Denial.

What is denial? Why do we do it?

I've noticed that these past few days, everyone is affected by denial in one way or another.

According to Sigmund Freud, denial is a defense mechanism people use when they are confronted with facts that they are not comfortable to accept. Thus, they shun the idea and tell that it is not true despite the evidences. There are 3 different levels of denial, or so wikipedia says.

Simple denial - Denying the reality or the existence of the fact.
Minimisation - Person admits the fact but disregards its seriousness.
Projection - Person admits the fact and seriousness but ignores the responsibility.

Personally, I usually use simple denial and minimisation. I've used denial a lot. It's not serious though, but it does save me from the emarrassment. Like when I was in third grade, I needed to go to the CR badly. But every restroom in the building was locked for God knows what reason. And so I ended making a puddle of piss in the hallway. After a few minutes, someone shouted, "IS THIS JUICE? OH MY GOSH NO, IT'S WEE-WEE!" Everyone thought it was me, but I denied it. I said that I'm not much of an ass to do that thing. And good thing they bought it.

I've never really used denial in such a serious matter, because I knew and accepted for a fact that it would just make matters worse. But I do have to admit that I got tempted to deny and ignore some problems. A lot. But I managed to face them even though I knew it would cost me a lot.

Denial is not only used by people in matters concerning responsibilities, sickness, death, habits, or denial itself. Denial is widely use in the matters of the heart. I know a lot of people who used denial thinking that it would make everything better, but ended up screwing everything.

This friend of mine likes this girl. Apparently, the girl also likes him. But because he fears of what people might say because the girl was a senior and he was a sophomore, he shoved the girl right out of his life. He thought that both of them would be better off without each other. Obviously, he was wrong. He ended up stalking the girl (not in a creepy way) who had already moved on with another guy. After a year, he finally was over the girl, but he could have saved himself from all the misery if he hadn't denied his love for the girl.

A relative of mine had a guy bestfriend. Clearly, they both love each other as more than friends but the guy was such a coward because he was afraid that they would lose their friendship. So he denied the my relative and gained distance. My relative on the other hand was really inlove with him, but decided to not expect of anything because she knows that the guy she loves is such a coward. Up to now they're still bestfriends but the guy is still much of an ass to accept the fact that he really loves her.


CONCLUSION:

Besides the fact the I realized that I grew up with a lot of lovesick people, denial is just a way of showing how immature a person can be. People deny because they're afraid of rejection or humiliation, or they're afraid of being truly happy. Either way, people in denial are simply just scared of something.

Are you in denial right now?

MY HORMONES ARE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGING.

Got Bieber Fever?


I don't hate Justin Bieber. But I definitely don't like Justin Bieber. In my mind, he's just another kid getting rich thanks to youtube and hollywood.

But I'm having second thoughts about him. I think I'm starting hate this kid. Not really him, but what he's doing to all the girls and gays. He's bringing out the worst in them. All the Bieber fans, don't get mad at me, I'm just stating my opinion. I never thought that an adolescent dude with a teeny weeny voice would turn on girls into freaks. This specific page of this site explains everything.

What Would I Do For Bieber (Creepiest)


That's just scary. Girls are turning into monsters because of him. He pretty talented, yeah, but he's so popular, he makes want to puke.

If you're reading this, and you've got the Bieber fever, please, please, I'm begging you, control yourself. You're scaring other people off. Obsession with Hollywood stars will never ever be cool.

MY HORMONES ARE RAAAAAAAAAAAGING.

Surviving the first day of classes


SURVIVING THE FIRST DAY OF CLASSES

Teachers and bullies usually love this day. It's that time of the year where they scope potential losers to scare the crap out of them. The first day of classes. So to avoid being the next person to get a wedgie from a bully, follow these tips, and surely you'll make it back to your house alive.

1. Wear clothes that don't scream nerd, slut, or loser. This means avoid wearing sweater vests, bling-blings, short skirts, tops that barely cover your tits, thick glasses, hooker heels, emo make up, your dad's floral shirt, or 5 year-old sister's tank top.

2. If your school requires you to wear a uniform, then don't do anything to change your uniform into some weird anime uniform. Wear simple accessories that don't overpower your uniform. If you're a guy, a watch and a baller would do. If you're a girl, a watch, a simple bracelet, and earrings would do.

3. Don't get a weird haircut. You don't want to be known as "the guy in that weird bowl haircut", or "that dude in a mullet", or "that chick who looks like a dude".

4. When introducing yourself, don't talk and talk and talk. Don't share you life story with them. Give only the important information. Your name, and what school you were previously in.

5. Don't borrow money on the first day. Enough said.

6. Don't bring lunch to school. Buy at the cafeteria. But if your mom insists that you should bring lunch, don't bring a dorky lunch box.

7. Hang out with the cool kids. If you can't, choose someone who's not a dork.

8. Do not be weird.


That's all the tips I could think of. If it's crappy, I'm sorry.

MY HORMONES ARE RAAAAAAAAAAAAGING.

How To Be A Girl (Part 2)

Hello and welcome to part 2 of How to Be a Girl. Where I teach you the basics of becoming a girl.

Now that you know what your essentials and how to look like a girl, I'm going to tell you how to act like one.

First, how to talk like a Girly Girl:

1. Talk in the usual manner that you would, but make it faster.
2. Squeeze your voice until it sounds like a baby. But an irritating one.
3. Use the words/phrases "like", "I know right?", "OMG", "totally", whenever you talk to another person.
Here's an example conversation of Girly Girls:
"OMG! I haven't seen you, in like ages!"
"Yeah, totally! How are you? OMG that dress looks like super duper cute on you!"
"I know right? I just bought it for like, 10 bucks!"
"OMG! Really? Hey have you like, seen *insert name of someone*? She's like totally fat!"
"Yeah. I know right? Ewww!"
4. Also, another great way to talk like a Girly Girl is to squeal. Squeal whenever you have the chance to. Squeal when you're happy, when you're sad, when you're angry, when you've seen a really handsome guy, or you could just squeal whenever you feel like doing it.

Second, how to walk like a Girly Girl:

1. Walk in the normal way you would, but this time, add a really, really tiny hop to each step.
2. Sway your hips like what a model would do on the runway.
3. AND DON'T FORGET to have good posture. It's really the key to walking like a Girly Girl.
4. Be perky.

Third, how to eat like a Girly Girl:

1. Do not order so much food. All that fat could just ruin your look.
2. Avoid greasy food. It might ruin your make up. And we don't want that, do we?
3. When you're about to take in the food, make sure that the spoon/fork has only a small amount of food.
4. Chew gently and swallow.
5. Get a sip from your drink.
6. Pat your mouth with a napkin even though there's no food residue on your lips.

Make sure that you master the art of becoming a girl. And if you're really good at it, then CONGRATULATIONS!

CONCLUSION:

Despite the fact that you need a lot of things to consider when you are trying to become a girl, it can actually be very simple. You're simply just being a guy with some minor differences.
1. You require more grooming.
2. You have breasts for pecs.
3. You are more sensitive.
4. You have a vjayjay for a penis.
5. You will bleed from your vjayjay for about 5 days in a month.

Watch out for my next blog. And for those Girly Girls who are offended by this blog entry, I only have one thing to say. Shut up, and be a sport.


MY HORMONES ARE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGING.

How To Be A Girl (Part 1)

This blog entry concerns people who want to know how to be a girl. If you ask me why I am writing about this topic, it's because some friend of mine asked me what would it be like to be a girl. I don't know if he's gay or something, but I thought this might be a very good topic to talk about. And since my gender is undefined, what I will say may be not as accurate. But with years and years of research, this is the next best thing.


Since being a girl can be a very broad topic, there will be a part 2 or even a part 3 of this blog.

First of all, let us define what a girl is. Thanks to my friend Merriam and Webster, girl is defined as a female child from birth to adulthood, or an unmarried woman, or can also be married. Either way, a girl is a female human being.

Becoming a girl can be easy, but if you're a man, you'd end up being a homosexual. To prevent that from happening, sex change is strongly advised. You'd need a pair breasts, hormones that girls possess, and a vjayjay.

First thing that you want to know is that there are several kinds of girls. You'd have to choose from them to accurately become a girl. Since there are a lot of types, we would only focus on one. The Girly Girl.

Unlike the other girls, the Girly girl is unique, because she is full of joy. Like a ray of sunshine. But sometimes she can be annoying too. Nonetheless, what really makes the Girly girl distinguishable is her perkiness and affinity for girly stuff.

If you wish to be a Girly girl, here are the things that are essential for you:

Make-up

And you need to know how to put it on.


Comb














And make it a point to use it.

Hair (should be long enough to comb)
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Always go to the salon to give it some TLC

Mirror











So that you could stare at your face

Trendy clothes











Every Girly Girl needs trendy clothes.

Camera
 










So you could take ALL the vain pictures you want and post it on Facebook

TONS of vain pictures
 










You should take as much shots possible that it's so annoying.

Girly girl friends











You could be the leader. Or just one of the posse. It's up to you, really.


High-pitched voice








It adds up to the perkiness

Hope this helps guys who want to be girls, or lesbians trying to be a girl again, or Girly girls who want to improve on their girlieness.

Watch out for part 2 of How to Be a Girl.

Formspring: Place where anonymous people may or may not beat the shit out of you

Formspring. Place where you can ask questions about anything that pops out of your head.



Formspring. Place where you can harass people without them knowing it was actually you.

Sadly, formspring has become the number one site that crappy insecure teenagers can beat the shit out of some innocent (or maybe not) fellow teenager of theirs. Come to think of it, that could actually be a fun thing to do. If you're an insecure little bitch who has nothing good to do in your life.

You might be wondering, "Horm, why are you babbling about formspring? Formspring is so last season!!". Well, I myself have no clue as to why I am talking about formspring. Hormones raging, maybe?

If you're being harassed by some low-life, here are some lessons that might come in handy. Or not:

1. Be calm about it. Don't just scream and be hysterical about it.
2. Assess yourself. Think about the things you have done in the past. Think of things that may have caused the stir in that particualar person's emotions. Maybe you've done something bad that came across as offensive to another person.
3. Assess the person who harassed you. Maybe the person's having some daddy issues. Maybe it's just that time of the month. Maybe he/she is jealous. Maybe he/she is a douche bag who is born to give you a freaking hard time.

If that doesn't help enlighten you as to why you have haters on formspring, then this might be it:

1. You are a total bitch.
2. You are selective to the people whom you show your good side.
3. You're just one of those persons that people love to hate.
4. You're misunderstood.
5. You're a jerk.

Now that you've been enlightened as to why people hate you, the next thing I'll tell you is how to deal with them. Now, there are 4 ways to react to a certain harassment. The Angel, the Douche, the Crybaby, and the Indifferent.

Here's an example formspring harassment:
You're a bitch. Go fuck yourself! You're an insecure little bitch who can't fit in! *blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah*

Here's how the Angel would deal with it:

"Hi. May I know who you are? You seem to be angry at me. Perhaps we could talk things over and possibly resolve these matters."

Obviously, the Douche would do the opposite.

"You fuck yourself bitch. You think you can boss me with that? HAH. Man up and tell me who the fuck you are! I'll cut your head off and chop off your dick! !#$!#$!%$%%$#!@##$%#@"
 (You see, I could have placed more bad words in this example but you might not be able to handle it. In short, the douche will use more insults and much, much, much more profanity.)

Here's how the Crybaby will handle the situation:

The Crybaby may or may not reply to the message of the harasser. Either way, the person will, obviously cry. And cry. And cry more. Until he/she can no longer remember what he/she is crying about. After crying a ridiculous amount of tears, the Crybaby will run a monologue on how life is unfair and his/her wishes to die on this very moment. The monologue will be most likely this:
"Huhuhuhuhuhu. This world is so unfair!! *sniff* Why does everyone hate me? Huhuhu I want to dieeeeeeee."

Finally, the Indifferent. Probably the most noble of all the people being harassed on formspring.

When the Indifferent sees the message, he/she will probably just stare at it. Then delete it. Or post it. Without any reactions. If the person does react, he/she will probably say something like this:
"Fuck this. I'm going to watch Smosh or Gradualreport on youtube instead."

So which one are you?

By Horm. MY HORMONES ARE RAAAAAAAAGING.

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Welcome to me!

Welcome to Myself! Yay! I already have an existing blog on Hormones Are Raging, but I decided to move it here in blogspot. :D Enjoy. :D

 

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